Korean Take Away: Bathrooms Part II

At first glance, this toilet looked pretty scary: Americans don't generally have remote controls or a plug on their "thrones."  At this point though, I can't imagine life without the Toilet/Bidet combo. Before we leave I am going to purchase two of these pups, maybe even three (backup is important).

This particular model has three presets that will accommodate most users, with a fourth that is ready for programming. The seat is heated which is a real pleasant surprise on winter mornings here in the R.O.K. Of course this can be turned off (and we will) for the summer months.  The water and air (yes, you actually get your ocole blow dried at the end of the process) are both temperature controlled in addition to water pressure. (That is a good thing!)

Additionally, the water nozzle can move forward and back, massaging one's tenders while cleaning. Remarkable.  At the end of the cycle, all one needs to do is blot dry: not a spec is left on the paper either. Never again will I shit like a heathen!

Made In China: Carcinogenic Sand Storms.

There are a lot of things that are made in China, toxic children’s formula, poisonous toys, unbridled censorship, but my favorite is “Yellow Sand.”

Yellow Sand is a natural occurrence that has happened every year since men (and women) were living in caves. Winds seasonally generated in Siberia blow through the Gobi picking up sand which ends up predominately over the Korean Peninsula and Japan,  but can deposit dust as far away as Hawaii and California with all the spots in between. The Chinese have found a way to augment this phenomenon with their crappy practices of disposing toxic industrial wastes into, among other places, the Gobi Desert.

So now, aside from just your Plane Jane grit, you get to count on all sorts of other goodies.  Sulfur (an acid rain component), soot, ash, carbon monoxide, and other toxic pollutants including heavy metals (such as mercury, cadmium, chromium, arsenic, lead, zinc, copper) and other carcinogens, often accompany the dust storms, as well as viruses, bacteria, fungi, pesticides, antibiotics, asbestos, herbicides, plastic ingredients, like the discarded melamine that didn’t make it into baby formula.

Of course China isn’t to blame completely. Aside from their homegrown greedy reprobates, there are multinational culprits, most of which hang their shingles in Europe and the United States. The same mephitic companies that promote global material consumption on a hitherto unknown scale, the same miscreant companies and their attendant bankers that are continuing to fleecing the average Joe, or Chou with usury credit rates that they hope will off-set their losses from various “exotic” financial “instruments” gone bad are as much to blame as the poor scrub, nascent Chinese capitalists straining to get on the profit train that dump their unusable wastes into places like the Gobi for the rest of us to breathe.

Really can’t blame the Chinese for everything Made in China, when the reason for being Made in China lies largely with the “smart” guys on Wall Street, The City and in places as seemingly off the beaten track as  Omaha.

 I wonder when the rest of us will wake up and realize that the smart guys are really only smart when it comes to finding ways to fill their pockets no matter  the cost.  Someday,  the greater good for the many, will trump the greater greed of the few: I hope there is still breathable air for those that live to see that day.

International Restaurants in Seoul

While the verdict isn't in completely on international cuisine here in Seoul, for the most part the jury is leaning towards guilty of crimes against the palate. Granted we have only been here for three months, and we have only sampled every Mexican restaurant in Itaewon and Noksapyong, half the Indian and Italian restaurants, but to-date, the experiences have been poor to disappointing with an occasional bout of mediocre.

Basically international restaurateurs are cooking for locals, and that means that every meal, without exception, will have some sort of pickled vegetable served along with the nosh, even if that is not the custom of the country in which the dish originated. Invariably the meal will be spicy, again, even if the dish is not typically prepared that way: spicy Sauce Alfredo? Or how about a yellow curry without any hint of coconut milk - apparently many Koreans don’t care for the taste, so just leave it out even if it’s your great-grandmother’s revered recipe.

Nothing is butchered worse than Mexican food. Apparently, flour tortillas cannot be eaten without toasting.  So that means a burrito will have a “crunchy” wrapper.  Tacos are equally disappointing because good sauce is apparently impossible to find. And forget about anything that needs to be made with Masa Hernia.

But here’s the good news: the local food is excellent and cheap. So if you are here in Seoul, and you find yourself hankering for some Pizza (Pizza without corn or sweet potatoes in the crust) or some Spaghetti Puttanesca  save yourself the disappointment and cook it yourself.